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Fitness is a Plague

Yes. This is a strange take on a scene from the Matrix with donut agents complaining about fitness. Yes. I am weird. Yes, I am nerdy enough to have taken most of Agent Smith’s monologue and fitted it to the topic.

Yes, if you’re nerdy enough, you can read it for yourself below because I’m a giver.

“I’d like to share a revelation during my time with fitness. It came to me when I tried to classify it. I realized that it’s not really a hobby. Every hobby on this planet instinctively keeps to itself and does not impact the surrounding environment, but fitness does not. Fitness moves through a social feedĀ and it multiplies and multiplies until every social media is consumed. The only way it survives is to spread to another person. There is an organism that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Fitness is a disease, a cancer of this planet. Fitness is a plague, and we…are the cure.”

“Can you hear me, Morpheus? I’m going to be honest with you. I hate fitness, this zoo, this gym, this lifestyle, whatever you want to call it. I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink. And every time I do I feel I have somehow been infected by it. It’s repulsive, isn’t it?”

Also of note, Patrons saw this comic yesterday because they are special. I will always post comics for free, but Patreon supporters are helping to keep the lights on, supplies stocked and comics happening. If that sounds like something you’d like to be a part of and get some benefits along the way, come on over, support what you feel is fair and be awesome.

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(Oh, and the other night, I actually did a live stream of me inking this comic. Come watch me talk–with my hands–to myself for an hour while drawing.)